i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
