Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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