i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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