you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize