hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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