And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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