But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
