God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
