i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
