a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
