think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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