Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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