Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
