windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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