Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
