Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
