I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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