And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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