that's an acceptable place to lick
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
