He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
