So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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