i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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