I cut my penus on the lid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize