That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
