she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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