my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
