I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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