I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize