Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
