I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
