I faked an abortion last night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
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