He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize