Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize