I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
