we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
