Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

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(801): View more from Utah

So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away

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(520): View more from Arizona

Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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(310): View more from California

I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.

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(805): View more from California

You left your phone here

(805): View more from California

Wait...

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