addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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