are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize