Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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