I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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