I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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