and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
