this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
