Christians are straight up FREAKS
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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