Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
