I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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