I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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