Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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