Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
