As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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