I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
