these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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