ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He did a backflip because drugs
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