Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
