Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
