break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Found your dick twin last night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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