He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
