I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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