big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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