i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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