Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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