is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
