I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
