yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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