I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
